Who would you rather have as your cell mate, during a 20 year stretch in the turn - Ving Rhames, or Michael Clark Duncan? You may be telling yourself that it makes no difference as they are both extra large black men, but you would be wrong. While I assure you that neither would be the ideal celly, you must make a choice. Let us examine these bohemeths.
Ving Rhames, born in New York City, New York - 6' tall, weighing in at a spry 260lbs.
("Motha fucka took the whole fist Wesley, the whole fist...")
Michael Clark Duncan, born and raised in Chicago, Illinois - 6'5", weight unknown.
("I'sa add your name to that list of white ass I pounded, suh.")
Instinct might tell you to choose Ving Rhames just because of the size difference, but don't go gun jumping. Ving Rhames is a bad, bad dude. He's the kind of guy who would shank you while he was raping you just to watch you bleed out of two holes. After he finishes, he will no doubt pass you around to every other inmate on line saying things like "White boy got the cushion, white boy got the cushion!" Ving Rhames does not care about your feelings.
Michael Clark Duncan on the other hand wants to love you. He understands the meaning of 20 years. Most married couples split up before that bench mark. Michael Clark Duncan will hug you, and tell you everything is going to be ok. He will fight off anybody who tries to make your their bitch and he will defend your honor in the work out yard. He will write letters to his family about you and send pictures. If he is ever granted a conjugal visit, he will turn it down, because you are his one and only. He will probably even spit on his Alabama black snake before he gently rapes you.
But I say to you, America...The choice is yours. Lets your voices be heard.
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