Fact.

The Pope says that facebook is making people anti-social.

The Pope has yet to accept my friend request. You tell me who's being anti-social.


Here's some facts about me.

I get along with cats. I've been questioned about being a cat whisperer before, never charged. Also i used to eat tender vittles as a young boy.

I once knocked a 3 down in Kerry Kittles eye during a pick up game behind Villanova Hardware. He went on to NBA fame, and I'm a bartender. Steve 1 - Kerry Kittles - 0.

I will blow you up in a rap like Nas contest. Unless you are Nas. Nas, if you're reading this - you know I'm just playin'.

I have Eric Lindros' autograph on the back of a Grocery list from Pat Croce's house. I hope they remembered the eggs.

I saw Wanye from Boyz II Men at the conshohocken Burger King 9 years ago. He has still not called about getting me a guest spot on the next album.

I once sold a 2 year old beat up fifty dollar watch to a drunk lady for $750, because I'm persuasive like that.

I have been robbed in both Los Angeles and the Dominican Republic. I'm probably not the ideal travel partner.

My family always pushed me to reach my full potential. When i graduated high school, others received math, science, and history awards while i was bestowed with the made up 'Best Story Teller' award. Here's to you mom and dad, your baby boy really made it.

When i was in fifth grade my parents told me that if i didn't start taking Catholic school seriously that they would send me to military academy. When i informed them how much more expensive that would be, they threatened public school instead. I called their bluff. They were holding aces. In sixth grade i was taking the bus to haverford. A month into my first semester at that dump my family went to Baltimore for a weekend. We shared one room with two beds and even at a young age i knew that sharing a bed with my brother was gay so I slept on the floor. At some point in the night my face rolled off the pillow and rested on the carpet. The chemicals in the carpet burned my face pretty severely and i had to go back to that school as the new kid looking like Harvey Dent. When the burn got bad enough i left school on sick leave and beat mortal kombat seeing only out of my left eye. Then i went back to catholic school.

I have never seen the Matrix or Lord of The Rings. Maybe I was too busy playing sports, or being social. My bad, I guess...

A few times when i was a kid, I went to the wawa up the street and opened as many sprite's as it took to find a cap that was offering a free one. I have felt the need to confess that forever.

In an effort to ruin my parents lives I have intentionally pushed a lawnmower through a basement window, sprayed the letter "S" all over the bathroom with cleaning solvent, shattered a porch window with a putter, put nail polish up my nose and stuck 13 sewing needles into my mouth followed by panic... in one day... as a 4 year old.

I can play the guitar in three different languages - Badly, No Bueno, and Nien.

My parents originally wanted to name me Rae Carruth Keenan. Can you imagine how awkward that would have been? eeee...

I have partied on a tour bus with members of The Startling Line, Bayside, and Four Year Strong. I drank half a bottle of Jameson and will forever be remembered as "That Guy."

In high school I went to a 311 show and lost my freshman baseball hat in an unfortunate crowd surfing incident. Months later I saw Nick Hexum wearing the hat on MTV.

I played hockey against Dave Shultz once in an alumni game. I laughed at him when he came out of the locker room and proceeded to punch he walls. He turned to me and told me that he was going to "fucking kill me on the ice." He took every opportunity to hit me. I am still afraid of him.

I have played at Mellon Arena, where the Pittsburgh Penguins play, in a state championship game. I am also partly responsible for the bench clearing brawl that 'marred' the whole experience.

I prevented a rape in a school yard once. I changed my mind.

I met Keith Primeau in Pittsburgh and he gave me a pep talk, although I like to think that it was the other way around.

I have gotten a ride home from the bar in the Tasty Kake truck, because I asked nicely.

When i was a boy, I spoke Finnish. Now i barely have command over the English language. I'm the Benjamin Button of literacy.

I may very well be lactose intolerant, but as they say - Can't nobody break my stride, and can't nobody hold me down.

Women get pregnant just by looking at me - most have twins.

I got arrested once for being awesome.